Obsessively Grateful

It’s been a long time not to write about my life updated. I want to tell you guys about God’s grace in my life and how He always has better plans for His child. Here we go, last year was my (I can say) bad year ever through every bad experience I had. But you know, God made all things (bad or good) work together for my good. So, just be grateful anyway.

:)

So, let's get started for this post. ^^
2015 I got hired in a company, then a week later I got fired. What a surprised!
I was 5 days in that company and I scolded almost everyday. The last day before I got a fired text message, my boss scolded me with words that made me a bit paralyzed.
She said, “I have no idea with you, you are a bachelor but with no ability.”
Again,
you - are - a - bachelor - with - no - ability.
you - are - a - bachelor - with - no - ability.
You know how it feels? :’)

At the same day, in the late evening. I got a sweet text message from my boss. She was telling me that I didn’t match with the job and I need not to go to office for the very next day.
Yes, a fired text message. :)

Well, I have no courage to tell my mom about it. The situation was my mom and I were having dinner and then I got that surprise text message. I didn’t tell mom at that time, because I was afraid and ashamed. My thought rages. I had no idea what happened, what to do, what to say. Till the next day, when my mom in her office, I told her about it by text message because I was a loser, I was so afraid to tell her face to face. Really afraid.
I felt so sad, so bad, so mad, so disappointed and actually didn’t know how to pray. I was just crying all over again. That was the only thing I can do. Beside this disappointment, I was being disappointed (too) with my close friend. I never thought I would be this hurt. At that time (I can say) I had no other friends at all which I can tell my feeling and (at least) who can tell me to relax and tell me that they are there.
No. Not at all. Nobody. Nobody was there.

Thanks be to God who still loves me even when I was a loser. Thanks be to God who heard me even I didn't say a thing, even I didn't know how to pray. Thanks be to God who understands my every tear, my deepest pain, and who gives me the new hopes and the new strength to carry on. I only have the desire just to make my mom proud of me and to do things that can bring glory to Jesus. The simple hope God put in my (pain) heart, at that time.

And when I think I've failed, the great thing has just begun actually... :)

Day by day, week by week, month by month, has passed...

Finally I realized what I really want in life.
First, I don't want to be afraid and ashamed anymore. I don't want to walk with my head down like a loser, I don't want to be intimidated with my bad experience.
Second, I want to reach my dreams to success, make my mom and dad (who already in Heaven) proud of me. I want to be more success than my dad in his young age. He is such a motivation for me.
But the most of all, I desperately want that everything I do and I have can bring glorify to Jesus. That's the main point.

I tell God things that I want, from my dream job, my goals, my other dreams, my wishes, my dream friendship, my dream relationship. Specifically I list it on detail in my prayer.

And how He loves me so much! One by one, He gives the answer.

Now I can say that I start living my dream life. Working in a big company in Indonesia which has best employee environment, having a relationship that respect each other and support each other, having few close friends who always encourage me through my ups and downs, close friends who always reminds me about God's kindness. I am so blessed!

I believe it is just started, much more miracles is yet to come. Amen.

The first thing I did was... I took risk, to release everything I had. My old disappointment about job, about relationship and about friendship. It was not that easy, it cost pain and tears. But I know who I am and I know what I want. I was designed to be happy and to bring glory to God. I released the bitterness and all the negative things in my life, in my mind and in my heart.

The only thing I get my focus on now is,
“DOES IT BRING GLORY TO GOD? DOES IT MAKE ME HAPPY?”
If the answer is no, then I will not ever doing it no matter what. No matter what risk I should face, I’m not afraid anymore. Because I have experienced about (I think) scariest thing in life (so far) but I’m survived till now. Hehe kinda too much, but that's my real feeling though. I trained my mind.
I know, and really know that Jesus always got my back. He always does. That’s why, now I understand that I don’t need anything anymore. I only need Jesus. The rest, He will supply. No more worries. I already come at that point.

So, I will tell you about 3 things. 3 things of the first answer of my prayer. Which I know God will answer the rest later, at the right time.

That 3 things are about the job, the relationship and the friendship.

About the job,
This is a clip about my testimony on Tiberias Church - Intiland Tower.
At Sarbini’s Fellowship event.
For more you could read below the video, or just ask me! ;)

 

I was in PSPO (Program Staff Pendukung Operasional) Training in BCA for 1 year (Aug 2015 - Aug 2016) and graduated (Aug 2016) for being permanent employee. Praise Jesus! Through my 1 year Training, it was totally by God’s grace. Let me do a little throwback for the first time I got user interview in BCA.

3 days after I got fired from my last company. I was being called to user interview in BCA.

The interviewer asked about my IT skills (programming kinda thing), and I said that I can't and I wasn’t interesting on it. I said NO.

I studied in Information Systems (eventhough it is IT major, but... not that IT. I mean, not really about programming). I learned about systems, database, network, eventhough I studied about coding / programming a bit, but I was not interesting at all.

You know that might be an appraisal for me to get a job by saying No in the interview, but I already came at the point that I was not afraid.

If it would not make me happy, I wouldn’t ever do that. I imagined spending my precious years to do a job which I didn’t like. I didn’t want to. No. I wouldn't be happy. That's why I said no.

After that, I was being called again from BCA for the second user interview. I thought I wouldn't get the second called from BCA, or third, or forth. But when Jesus works, nothing is impossible. I was having total 5 user interviews (I think, I am the most widely interviewed in BCA, 5 times. Anyone more?).

And almost every interview, I always got asked about programming. I said no no and always no.

Till the 5th, ...

Before the interview, I prayed. I told God that I cannot in programming (coding kinda thing job), the best skill I have is English. Just let me be a translator, that would be fine (yes, I think that short), even though I am a Bachelor of Computer Science. I just can't do programming job. That's not what I want. Thanks God He didn't hear my wish to be a translator and still doing the best work in me. My Computer Science is not in vain.

And the interview be like,
Him : “Apa yang kamu banggakan dari pencapaikan kamu sejauh ini?”
Me : “Speech English saat SMA, pak.”
Him : “So, you can speak English?”
Me : “Yes.”
Him : “Describe yourself in English, please.”
And I was introducing me in English, the interview only took 15 minutes, in English (which is my capability, thanks God!),
and the last he asked me,
“Kalau kamu saya taruh di bagian jaringan, kira-kira kamu bisa sukses ngga?”
and of course I answered, “bisa.”

5 days later, ...
I was being called for Medical Check Up. :)

What I learned is...
God is using you from what you have, not what you don’t have. When you come to God just the way you are, He is welcoming you with His open arms. He is God who designed you with every unique talent. When I told Him, I only have English skill and I can't do programming. God said it’s enough.
He can use me with what I have.
So what He has done for me, He made me get a job in my field (IT) with the talent that I have (English).

I am hired. Praise the Lord! :')

I passed the 1 year PSPO Training. You know it was not that easy to face the real job when you were a fresh-graduate. No experience. Yes, I had. But, that was not "working experience" I think. 

Everyday (and now it becomes my habit), I go to the toilet to pray and to have an anointing oil (which my Senior Pastor, Ps. Yesaya Pariadji, taught me).
I also do holy communion before I left my house in the morning and before I go to sleep every night.
Oil and wine generation. The best, the biggest, thundering everywhere.  I believe that.

So in the toilet (even in toilet, God heard my prayer), I always declare Jesus’ promises for my life:
“I am blessed, loved, be the head, not the tail,
everything I do be blessed and success,
everywhere I go, the place being blessed,
wherever I am I can be salt and light and bring the glory of God,
my job for God’s glory, my life for God’s glory, today’s for God’s glory.
Only the best blessings, only the best miracles,
only the best things can happen to me throughout the day,
from now on, and forever more.
And before I left this toilet, I believe God’s presence be with me,
The Lord Jesus who goes before me,
The Lord Jesus who got my back,
The Lord Jesus who protects me left and right, up and down.
The Lord Jesus who is my Defender, my Mentor, my Guide,
my Protector, my Father.
And by Holy Spirit who lives in me,
who can make me capable to do the best, to show the best,
to give the best and to be the best.
By Holy Spirit who lives in me, who can make me capable to walk in God's righteousness way.
In Jesus’ holy name I pray. AMEN.” 

And I win everytime.

This win means that everytime I face challenges, new projects, new people, I always pass it easily in unexpected ways. Jesus always sends His helping hand through things and people beyond my highest prayer. He always provides and never embarrasses me. OH THANKS JESUS! HIS LOVING KINDNESS ENDURES FOREVER! AMEN!

Till the final test of PSPO, I had to presentation. I was given 1,5 hours to presentation about the work flow during the training, and it was allowed for the examiner posing questions in the mid of my presentation. And guess what, I finished my presentation in  about 15-20minutes only, without any question at all. I asked the examiner whether they want to ask, they said, “no, you already tell it all.”

:’)

If it’s not only because of Jesus, it wouldn’t be this easy. God is great!

So, now I am not a PSPO Trainee anymore. YAY! ^^
I am working in IT field, in one of the Best Company in Indonesia (PT. Bank Central Asia, Tbk). My jobdesk is specially about Network, which is one of the subjects on my major (Information Systems - Computer Science) and it's not about programming.  :))

All for the glory of God! :)

When I think I was a loser and I basically couldn't think straight at the time. God was there and lifted me up. He was really there. He still had a plan for me. Beautiful plan, beyond everything I could wonder. He proved me that even people said negative things about me, He loved me so much and He hold my hands to go through every pain or negativity people throwing at me. I am His most beloved daughter. No one can cancel the plan of Him. And if He had opened the door, no one can shut.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord., plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” - Jeremiah 29:11

Eventhough for human, I am not qualified, but for Jesus, I am the most precious one. He is the one who qualifies me.
“since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you...” - Isaiah 43:4 

I am no longer a slave of fear, I am much stronger than before because He has promised that I can do ALL THINGS (not only little things, again, ALL THINGS) through Him (Jesus Christ) who strengthens me. I am obsessively grateful for every bad experience I had that now makes me a person in character, a person in commitment, a person in surrender. Jesus is the reason!

I will never get enough to thank Him for all He has done,  I will never get enough to thank Him how He cares for me, how He never stops showing me how much I am precious to Him, how much He loves me. He is a Sweet God, a Loving Father. He really is.

He is indeed AMAZING GOD! Amen.

So I want you to know that God loves you very much, you are His treasured possession. When you feel like you’re drowning in life, remember that your Lifeguard walks on water. Jesus created you to love you and to show you His abundant blessings. All you need to do is just believe Him. Simply, just believe Him. Never doubt. Declare every promise He said. Attach to Him. For He is the vine and we are the branches, without Him, we can do nothing.

And since then, I've been going to dedicate all things belong in my life for Jesus only, for His glory.
My job, my family, my relationship, my friendship, my dreams, my all, for Jesus. Only for Jesus.

Last,
When you really love your God, with all your heart, and really seek His face. Jesus is God of loving kindness, He will give you beyond your highest expectation.

I'd love to give you one more verse...

"However, as it is written: What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived: the things God HAS PREPARED for those who love Him." - 1 Corinthians 2:9

"Tetapi seperti ada tertulis: Apa yang tidak pernah dilihat oleh mata, dan tidak pernah didengar oleh telinga, dan yang tidak pernah timbul di dalamm hati manusia: semua yang disediakan Allah untuk mereka yang mengasihi Dia." - 1 Korintus 2:9

:)

Amen? Yes and Amen.

So, about the 2 things, the relationship and the friendship that I told you in advance, I will tell you later in other occasion.
Thank you so much for reading, may God always bless you and be with you all! xx

You can read my previous posts, when I was in my lowest point till now.
These are 3 posts, I suggest you to read from 1 to 3:
1. http://ivonnesumampouw.blogspot.co.id/2015/04/basically.html
2. http://ivonnesumampouw.blogspot.co.id/2015/11/heal-my-heart-and-make-it-clean.html
3. http://ivonnesumampouw.blogspot.co.id/2016/02/my-experience-with-jesus-in-beginning.html 

ENJOY! ♥

with my few friends on PSPO batch 11